In what feels to be an endless, entrapping dance, winding depictions of impulse, confusion, failure and anxiety cycling around me, I am grabbing blindly for some arm in which to take up against my invisible captors. My panic increases as I engage this drama every single day of my life, my energies being frayed so terribly that i'm afraid I will truly disintegrate into damaged wisps of fabric and become useless forever. I am desperately fumbling for something, anything, to save myself.
What have I found, you may not be asking? The idea, and birth in my mind, of persistence, and practicality.
These seem like no-brainers to some people. For me, I was not so lucky. Born to an unstable, emotional, cluttered and impractical household, there were no rules to existence. No expectations for my future. Nothing but day to day living, hoping the future would yield some sort of bounty. This life, hardly worthy of being called one, is in constant impulsive chaos. Retention of long term goals is zilch, no sense of commitment exists within my DNA. I felt defective, and still do.
I realized though, that no one is truly just born properly persistent and practical, unless they are some sort of messiah. They are taught these skills.
When I came to terms with this near universal truth, after reading endless internet comments from people struggling precisely as I am now, I knew I had no choice but to pick up the only weapons in sight: Persistence, and Practicality.
Wait though, what does it mean to be practical anyway?
To be practical is to put knowledge and learnings to practice. That's all. When I heard it that way, I felt blown away. I felt that being practical was finally something attainable, although not yet in my grasp.
How about persistence?
Persistence is the act of perseverance, despite difficult positions, in completing a commitment, activity, or goal. This one holds the biggest learning curve for me to overcome.
I have chosen to teach myself how to cultivate these two virtues. The anxiety, the fatalism, the impulse, the social atrophy, the aversion to commitment and deep thought, I intend to slay it all with these two beautiful, powerful tools.
The mastery of persistence is within the very act itself, repeated endlessly. Through this, practicality will shine. Persistence and practicality both welcome routine, and that is where this blog comes into play.
Mission statement: A single topic, a single post, every day or at least every other day. Creative projects will also be parked here. This sanctuary is also a mental training field. I have no choice but to master these weapons, lest I will perish and become bothersome dust in this disgustingly sovereign vision of reality we have been subjected to.
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